Zeke Bambolo - Is the Blame Game Hindering Your Legacy

All too frequently, famous personalities like Dr. Phil McGraw and then the rest of us give comments and advice in an attempt to address what is assumed - modern or current era cultural issue. As a people, we frequently love to place the blame for our actions and negative circumstances on someone else, which are usually our parents or predecessors.

Here are a few quotes from Dr. Phil’s website as examples on the subject of “Life Strategies: Taking Responsibility for Your Life” http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/230:

1) Behave your way to success.
2) If you want to get your family interested in your life, get interested in their lives.
3) You are an adult now and you need to take responsibility for your actions. You can't blame your family anymore.
4) It all comes back to the life law statement, "You've got to name it before you can claim it."
5) If you are stuck in an unsatisfying life, ask yourself what would make you happy?

Write out what you need to hear from your family that you've never heard before. Be very specific. Give your list to your family. In addition, the research finds a slightly greater cultural & national view, as well as an example of the same problem in an economic article titled, “Culture and Collapse: Why the Irish Take Responsibility and the Greeks Outsource It.” http://cultureblog.deanfosterassociates.com/?p=137.

This discussion is such a hot one, on so many levels, that it took all of two to three minutes to find poignant comments to support the thesis amid a sea of similar conversations from a simple Internet search. We are far too consumed with the pursuit of personal happiness as a people with a covetous nature who are easily persuaded by our eyes and thoughts. Why is that the case in regard to the “blame game”? Why is it so apparent that we as individuals want to blame others for our failures, yet gladly take all the glory for our successes? Is it truly an issue of today’s culture and era?

A dynamic revelation and the answer to this predicament lies with the origin and beginning of mankind. It is fascinating to see in the biblical Book of Genesis (defined as the origin or mode of formation of something) chapter 3 and verse 12 (Gen 3:12), the response of the original man when he is called to give his first-ever account of his faulty action. The verse reads of Adam, “12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”” The Creator’s first recorded confrontation with mankind regarding his actions finds Adam blaming both his Creator and his helpmate (everyone and the only people he knows) impressively in one sentence (concisely speaking). Prior to this (Genesis chapter 2), Adam had been given freedom and full responsibility (work, occupation) of his surroundings and the contents within, including his helpmate. Yet he chose to entertain the “blame game.”

That story in Christian circles is known as “The Fall”, and it depicts a great deal of the nature of mankind since that incident. So the answer to the question is “No”, this is not just an issue of this era and today’s culture. In addition, it is sobering and clear the greater nature of mankind seeks to place the blame for our actions on someone else since “The Fall”. Whilst this is part of the consequence we bear in every action we engage today, just as Adam the original man did, like Adam, we too have the choice to honor an incredible legacy of life and power in every action we take and have the ability to defeat our blaming nature or fall prey to the blame game. The greater question we must answer is, “What motivates and sustains us in our efforts to maintain and attitude of accepting full responsibility for our every action?”

In my time of working with individuals in a supportive role, as a mentor, in church leadership, a coach, and various other capacities, one thing continues to be prominent in the troubled lives; the lack of proper ownership and embrace of multi- generational family legacy. Legacy transcends individuality and removes us from the self-serving mindset which most frequently results in the all too common “blame game.”

Creating a legacy subsequently shapes our character and motivates us to defeat the selfish mindset which is the original reason and intent for the God of the Bible creating mankind. When we fully subscribe to this attitude of living that truth, it greatly empowers us to live victoriously and overcome adversities. We assume our rightful place and position in the universe. The Bible and Genesis 1:26- 28 state that God created mankind in His image. God creates man in His image (representation & manifestation), as well as bearing the responsibility and authority of His legacy, which He willingly transfers to all with the instructions to propagate that proud and healthy heritage. This legacy is not one that is self-centered, but thoroughly other-centered and is one of authority, responsibility (work), service to others and community, and propagation (children and dependents), all for the health and growth of mankind. Unfortunately, as adults and young people, the lack of role models who are living an exemplary life, keeps them from gleaning the proper tools to successfully transfer a legacy. In their journey to adulthood self-centeredness is not the only answer.

In conclusion, as a people we must first embrace, then be introspective, and finally be purposeful when transferring a multi-generational family legacy. We will greatly transform ourselves and the culture in a powerful and long-lasting manner and ultimately defeat the “blame game” by transcending individuality and removing a self-serving mindset.